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A Christmas Essay

I came across a great post by a mom who’s daughter was asked to write an essay on “What I Want for Christmas”. This type of thing is an example of why I’m glad my kids aren’t in public school but the daughter handled it really well; the essay was very thoughtful. May my children be as confident and compassionate under those circumstances.

I am, however, much less impressed with the teacher’s decision to assign this essay and I’m particularly dismayed by what she said after class. Her comment was grossly misinformed, disrespectful to both the student and the mother and all non-Christians everywhere, and completely inappropriate coming from a teacher in public school who is in no position to question a student’s philosophical or religious affiliation. In summary: it was just wrong, wrong, wrong.

Defining Secular

Apparently, being secular is okay as long as it doesn’t mean “non-religious” or “absence of religion”.


Recently, a member made a plea to a secular homeschooling group for help finding or starting a group in her area that didn’t have religion as the focus. I’ve been a member of the group for oh, maybe a year or so. Mostly the list has been pretty tame – the typical curriculum questions and general homeschooling talk. But this topic really opened up a can or worms. Dozens of members posted about their own struggle to find a decent homeschooling group.

The homeschooling world is full of groups that are religious in nature. These range from the “oh, a few bible quotes are fine” to the ones who require a statement of faith, which is meant to be divisive and exclusionary. [In other words to weed out all the non-believers and also any believers who happened to be sympathetic to homosexuals, evolution, women's rights, environmentalism, freedom of religious choice, etc.] Most of us on the list have struggled to find a group that didn’t operate from this point of view.

The conversation of the group got intense as people found similarities in their experiences and noted the common problems they’d encountered. No one bashed anyone else and all messages were written from an “I” perspective, as in “I think… I feel…”. Most people just shared personal experiences.

Yet before long a few people came out of lurker mode to say they were feeling “repressed” and “harassed”. Not surprisingly, these were the people who had deeply held religious beliefs.

One might ask why religious persons were on a secular list, and the answer lies in how people think of the term ’secular’. Some people join because they aren’t homeschooling for religious reasons – even if they are a religious family. They aren’t homeschooling as a way to “train up” their child in the way of god as the fundamentalist homeschoolers are, so they feel out of place in those circles (where biblical words are used for spelling lists and even the math books have religious stories). These people seek out a secular group because the academic education of their children isn’t religiously focused.

However, also on this group are people who define secular in a much wider sense. These are folks who are non-religious in general, not just in homeschooling but in their lifestyle. They might be atheists, humanists, or defy labels altogether, but they aren’t religious people. Many might even feel anti-religious. They join a secular homeschooling list because they want to be in a group with other non-religious homeschoolers.

So there is the disconnect and it explains why several people – who weren’t even participating in the discussion, just reading along silently – got their feathers ruffled when the non-religious (secular) homeschoolers engaged in a discussion about how they struggled to find a non-religious (secular) group and to raise their children in a non-religious (secular) environment. But it’s all in the way people choose to define ’secular’. Those who choose to be non-religious in only one aspect of their life (education) tend to find it annoying (or take it personal) that other people don’t separate their lifestyle and philosophical views from academics as well.

One person wrote, “I came here to talk homeschooling and now I feel like I have to defend my beliefs.”

Why he felt this way is a mystery. No one bashed his views or said, “your beliefs are ridiculous.” In fact he hadn’t participated in the discussion or posted about his beliefs, so there was no opportunity for anyone to question them. The discussion was mainly people sharing their own experiences and many of those happened to be people searching for a way to live non-religiously. Therein lies the problem apparently.

A mom mentioned that in regards to her children, she approached religious stories from a mythical viewpoint. Another mom spoke up and asked the first mom to please not teach her kids that these stories and beliefs are “myths and lies”. No one had called her beliefs “lies” although I’m sure many people on the list were of that opinion. However, she felt attacked and insulted simply because someone mentioned an alternative way of looking at religion.

She went on to say, “I’ll teach my kids not to think you’ll burn in hell if you’ll teach your kids not to think we’re idiots who believe in a bunch of hooey.”

I think I see the point she was trying to make but she’s pushing her beliefs on other people, and what gets me is that she feels this is fair and that’s she’s being respectful of other people’s choices. It’s one thing to ask for tolerance, but it’s an entire different ballgame to demand that tolerance equals agreement. It’s not her place to insist other parents not view religious beliefs as mythical. They are myths! Religious people choose to believe in the myths and see them as real. She has completely out of line asking someone else to raise their children to believe the same.

A third mom responded with the voice of reason. She wrote: “If a person asked my son about Noah’s Ark, he would say it is a myth. Would he be expected to simply agree, rather than share his view? I have also taught my kids there are many different beliefs, which is fine if people don’t try to push them. I would not tell them to lie about theirs. If my son said he believes the Bible is myth and lies, that is his opinion. He would have every right to make that statement. It has to work both ways!

In order to ensure my kids don’t think religious beliefs are “a bunch of hooey” I would essentially have to push this woman’s beliefs on them, to teach her myths as being real and true. That’s what she’s asking and although she means well and probably has no idea of what she’s asking (or does and feels its perfectly reasonable), it’s still extremely arrogant. It’s people like this who think they are being respectful and tolerant and just can’t understand why other people don’t see it their way.

Another person wrote, “I feel as if I’m being told I have to live a faithless life – and isn’t that a religion in itself?”

Oh, for crying out loud! The very essence of religion is faith – something accepted or believed despite lack of evidence or proof (or even evidence to the contrary). How in the world can someone equate being faithless with being religious?

I have a really hard time listening with any amount of respect when Christians and other majority religious groups claim to be repressed and harassed. All it takes is for one person to mention they aren’t religious or to say they view religious stories as mythical, and certain religious people will automatically feel attacked and defensive.

It seems the biggest issue is that these people tread into areas where it’s obviously clear that their views and beliefs are not going to be catered to. But they nonetheless want special treatment simply because of their faith. They expect their views to be upheld and supported, to not have their beliefs questioned and for everyone to show “respect” by not mentioning alternative ways of living and thinking.

Save Me From Myself

“You have to be wary of a group that thinks they need laws to prevent them from acting on their own desires…” a commenter on Huffington Post, referring to Ted Haggard and other evangelic Christians who want to ban gay marriage


Is my mind in the gutter (as usual) or does anyone else find this video slightly homoerotic?

Either this goofball is genuinely trying to prove the existence of God by fondling tropical fruit or he is doing a great parody of the Intelligent Design proponents. Either way it’s pretty funny.

Diversity of Homeschoolers

A recent discussion on a email list I subscribe to concerned the documentary Jesus Camp. At the beginning of the movie a statement is made that “75% of homeschoolers are evangelical Christians”. [See Jesus Camp Take 2, written by a columnist at Home Education Magazine.] This statement is not only false, it dangerously reinforces the misconceptions the general public has about homeschoolers. It is quite misleading to label the majority of homeschoolers as religious fanatics or to imply that most have very conservative worldviews.

In fact, the “community” of homeschoolers includes many politically progressive and liberal families who have a very diverse range of religious views, including those who reject religion altogether. Yes, there are atheist homeschoolers. There are also secular, agnostic, humanist, Pagan, Unitarian, Hindu, and Buddhist homeschoolers (among others). If one counted up all the non-evangelical homeschoolers the total would greatly outnumber the fundamentalists.

After I posted a short reply correcting the statement made in the film, a member of the list wrote:

My only experience of homeschooling parents has been along the lines of fundamentalists, so I assumed that religion was the driving force behind it. If you don’t mind me asking, why do you homeschool your child(ren)?

In my response I wanted to provide a few insights into the history of homeschooling and why a certain stereotype is commonly depicted in the media. Here is an excerpts from my reply.

You’ve posed a simple question with a fairly complex answer, which I’ll tackle in a moment. First, let me give you a bit of history on homeschooling in our country.

Schools, as we think of them today, were not the norm many years ago. There were community schools, technical schools, and church schools, but these were locally based and intended for a specific demographic. Additionally, many children did not attend any of these schools and were simply educated at home or through small groups, similar to what we call co-ops today. When the public school system started, the government basically took over the responsibilities and duties of these locally based schools. In the beginning, most children were still taught at home and so enrollment of students in a school setting did not increase much. It wasn’t until compulsory attendance laws were passed that children began attending in great numbers.

While we (as a society) tend to view this event as an “improvement” that allowed all children a free education. However, not everybody was happy about the change and many families resisted enrolling their children and some were dragged to school kicking and screaming, and many were served with court papers to enforce the new laws. Kids had been doing just fine for years without being required to attend school. Many historical figures whom have contributed to our society though leadership, invention, scientific discovery, etc, either never went to school a day in their lives or attended only briefly. The lineage of homeschoolers include several notable inventors, scientists, authors, philosophers, and composers, as well as ten presidents. A partial list of historic homeschoolers can be found here.

There are often several reasons given for the purpose of having compulsory schooling, Many free-thinkers throughout the last century have put forth very strong arguments questioning the validity of these reasons. An interesting essay you might be interested in reading on this topic is Against School by John Taylor Gatto.

In the 60s and 70s many families began homeschooling, although it was often “underground” because it was illegal at the time (state laws did not offer options other than private or public school). They did not like the government intrusion into the family life, felt that they could provide their child with a better education, and/or believed public schools did not correspond with the way they wanted to live and raise children. This has been referred to as the “hippie” homeschooling movement. Although several thousand families homeschooled during this era, they did not have formal networks. Most went about it privately, without calling attention to it, because of fear that they would be brought up on truancy charges or be investigated by Social Services.

In the early 80s there was a shift as religious conservatives began to homeschool. Evangelical politicians and church leaders called for families to pull their children from school in order to raise them up “as God intended”. Some have tried to claim ownership of homeschooling by saying that Christians began the movement, but this is untrue (just as when they proclaim that this country was founded as a Christian nation). Generally speaking, religious conservatives are highly organized, strongly networked, and create powerful political engines to protect their interests. These new evangelical homeschoolers were no exception. They were/are by far the loudest, most visible segment of homeschoolers and they have formed well funded organizations to represent them (such as HSLDA). They were/are eager to defend their religious “practices” in both local and national courts which of course includes the “God-given right” to homeschool.

In the late 80s and early 90s state education laws changed across the nation and homeschooling became legal in all 50 states. This ushered in a new era of homeschooling because the atmosphere began to change – have legal validity made it feel like a safe option. As such, more families who were not religiously motivated began to homeschool. Parents concerned about academics, school safety, or having quality time together as a family started looking to homeschooling as a viable alternative to public school and as a more feasible choice than expensive private schools.

Today there are a wide variety of homeschoolers – from every social-economic level and all religious and philosophical persuasions imaginable. There is no “typical” homeschooling family. We are a diverse bunch of folks! The evangelical homeschoolers still get most of the media attention because the rest of us aren’t as well networked and we aren’t interested in structured organization – we are happy doing our own thing and feel that no one person or organization could (or should) speak for us. Many of us are involved in local and/or state groups and we do advocate for homeschooling, but not nearly at the same level.

An important thing to understand is that evangelical homeschoolers have a powerful common thread (religion) while inclusive homeschoolers are very diverse in belief and lifestyle. It’s been said that trying to get homeschoolers to agree on something is a bit like herding cats. The one thing we can all agree on is that we have a deep interest in our children’s well being. Most of us are content to leave it at that rather than trying to develop blanket statements that define us a group. As I mentioned before, the media tends to lump us all together as religious conservatives, which is unfortunate and quite frustrating, especially for those of us who are quite the opposite. This is due to many reasons, but mainly because when reporters and writers go searching for information about homeschooling, the organizations representing religious homeschoolers are the easiest to locate because they are organized and well funded (they are paid to be vocal and visible).

For example, about 90% of articles concerning homeschoolers contain statistics provided by HSLDA and frequently contain quotes from representatives of this organization. HSLDA is a legal firm which not only advocates on behalf of evangelical homeschoolers, but also tries to advance a very conservative political agenda in areas unrelated to homeschooling (but consistent with fundamentalist world views). They only represent a small fraction of homeschoolers, but appear larger than life and claim to speak for everyone, which is another source of irritation for those of us who are not members (and would never care to be).

While there are many Christian homeschoolers, not all of them are evangelical or conservative and most of them start homeschooling because of some other factor – for example, to give one-on-one attention to a special needs child or to provide their children more freedom in their academic pursuits. In fact, surveys of the homeschooling community have repeatedly shown that families motivated primarily for religious reasons account for only 33% of all homeschoolers.

It might surprise you to learn that there are increasing numbers of families who are homeschooling because they feel the academic programs in public schools are not challenging enough and/or that standards in teaching science and other subjects in school have been weakened by the efforts of the fundamentalist agenda, such as trying to place intelligent design and other creationist ideals into classrooms. (Have you looked at a middle school science textbook lately? Considering the technology and information available today, the material is quite simplistic and watered down.)

Our family homeschools for many reasons, which are far too numerous to cover in detail here. I can say that our reasons for initially deciding to homeschool are not the same as why we continue to homeschool. We’ve learned a lot on this journey and truly, homeschooling has been freeing in many ways, both intellectually and physically. Our goals are to raise free-thinking, independent, smart, creative kids who are not afraid to be themselves, who love learning and grow up with appreciation of diversity and respect for all living things.

We have other reasons which are more of a progressive political/social nature, but overall we feel homeschooling gives us more time together as a family and it fits our lifestyle and parenting philosophy. Our kids learn about evolution, are fascinated by dinosaurs, love Harry Potter, and are exposed to people from all walks of life – just like thousands of other kids in homeschooling families across the country.

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